The Blade that Pierced the Stars
by IamJustAnotherAnon
Summary: IDW. Windblade pierces Starscream's heavens with her (sword) drill. Cracky and hot. Contains Sadomasochism. Not for the little kiddies.


Part 1: Keeping up Appearances

It was a beautiful day on Cybertron. The Cyber-birds were singing, the cyber-cats were viciously eviscerating the Cyber-birds, and the Cyber-dogs were nowhere to be found, as they do not exist.

Starscream was enjoying his walk immensely. He passed by windows, which he looked at. Staring back at him was a handsome, red seeker walking in tune with him. Starscream swore on his Mother's (creator's) life that there was no one more perfect than he was.

Eventually, the windows ran out, and instead, over by a Starbucks, Cybertronian Starbucks, was a beautiful, red seeker.

At that moment, halfway across Cybertron, an alcoholic seeker died. She left behind 6 seekers and a lil' B record, Based God edition.

Starscream sauntered over to the seeker in question. She was a beautiful, red, black, and turquoise seeker. He languidly walked around her, putting on his best "This is my first attempt at being friendly because I never cared for anyone before and I'm an afthole" smile he could muster.

"Why hello there" he said sexily. "I don't believe we have met before."

The seeker gave him an incredulous look.

"We have met before, you were just too drunk to remember." she said " You were going on about how you only feel right when you're in pretty dresses while Megatron hits you."

"Gasp! She knows my deepest, darkest secrets!" thought Starscream. "How did she find out? I bet it was during one of my drunken tirades! No matter… Nobody's going to notice a red, femme seeker missing, like me." Wait…

The seeker extended her hand. "I am Windblade, City-Speaker" she said.

"Oh no, she's a city-speaker! People would notice her death! I mean, *ahem, cough, warble*, her mysterious disappearance." Starscream thought.

He shook her hand. "And I'm sure you know already that I'm Starscream?"

"No, I had no idea." said Winblade sarcastically, images of billboards and Starbucks adorned with Starscream's face assaulting her memory banks. This advertising had the world-wide effect of replacing Cybertronians' higher processing with a desire to marvel at the wonder that was Starscream's perfect thighs.

Heh heh, get it? STARbucks? STARscream. Wink Wink, Hint Hint.

Unfortunately, Starscream didn't catch her sarcasm, as his higher-functioning had been replaced with a desire to marvel at his own, perfect thighs.

"Why, we must get acquainted then! You catch my drift?" he said.

"No, I do not catch your Drift" said Windblade.

Drift flew over their heads, and was not caught. His body was found at the bottom of an energon ravine, being feasted on by a furry rat that somehow appeared on a robotic planet, and a giant wasp. Due to having died young, Drift was scheduled to be buried in Satin, and lain down on a bed of roses. As per his will's requests though, he was buried in anime, and lain down on a bed of shoujo.

God what a weeaboo.

Listen, you're a beautiful red seeker, I'm a beautiful red seeker. Let us do as nature intended and have children,, then let them devour our bodies to provide nutrient and let them grow for the glory of the species!" Said Starscream.

Note: Starscream's creator has continued living due to the appalling desire to exercise free will and provide her offspring with outside nutrition so she could continue living. She has been ostracized, and her current status is :unimportant:

"Fine, I catch your Drift." Windblade. Confirmed. "Though I want to continue living, and continue to develop my successful, influential, prestigious career, and you have committed murder as well as corrupted politics to its furthest extent, I will have an intimate relationship with you in order to satisfy my primitive, short-term desires."

She was too late. Drift would forever remain uncaught.

Good Night Sweet Prince.

Starscream and Windblade were at Starscream's expensive penthouse. The view was amazing.

"Mmmm, yes, the view is amazing!" She said as she watched Starscream's aft. It was swaying back and for hypnotically as he was on his knees, bent forward…

Looking for the squeaky toy that had bounced under a small table. Once he had fetched it, he called out to his pet.

"Rat-thing! I have your stupid squeaky toy!" He shouted.

A bipedal… thing walked into the room.

"I told you, my name's not Rat-thing, it's Rattrap!" said Rat-thing.

Starscream rubbed the Rat-thing's head condescendingly. "Here's your chew toy Rat-thing, you go have fun!"

Rat-thing took the toy and went back into his basement. He cuddled the toy as he put on his fedora, and wrote angry rants about femmes on the internet. The squeaky toy he cuddled as a "safety blanket" was a pastel-colored pony.

"I don't understand why anyone would want him to be intimate with you." Winblade said, a continuation from a previous conversation.

"I know right! He smells, he turns into a quadrepedal organic, and it looks like he has an exposed brain." said Starscream. "One could do so much better, there are other less repulsive characters out there. Personally, I don't need such an ugly accessory marring my frame with its filth."

"But enough about me, you on the other hand…" he paused. "Are more perfect than even I am. Will you allow me to move my narcissism onto you, and project my feelings of hate-love onto you due to my feelings of insecurity surfacing from being intimidated by someone I find better than me?" asked Starscream.

"Why of course Starscream." said Windblade, smiling. "I wouldn't have it any other way."


End file.
